Sanitywarp.org:: Diary of a Trichster

Last night was the second hypnotherapy session for my trich. I was a little discouraged for the last few days since the
pulling urges came back pretty much full-force. The first several days after the last treatment worked wonderfully,
and I was able to resist almost all of my urges. It went great for about half a week, but then suddenly I just lost it =/
Yesterday I talked with Dr. Schwartz for most of the session and he reminded me that although I get a great deal of
pleasure when pulling, that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, since it is damaging to me. He then pointed out that
pleasure can be derived from many activities that are harmful- some people get off on raping and hurting others,
for example. One of the universe’s laws is “do no harm” and that by harming myself, I am doing wrong. I asked him to
suggest during the hypnosis that the pulling be more painful, since one of the problems that keeps me from
continuing to pull is that, in most spots, not only does it not feel painful to pull, but it actually feels good. So,
that’s what he did. He described the act itself in graphic detail as tearing, ripping, pulling the skin, etc.. it made
me grimace as he described it. Later, I walked back to my clearing, with the purple chair, and there was a little
kitten running around that was following me as if it had something to learn from me, because I am “the great teacher”
now. He also told me to imagine the bumblebee from before, transforming into a beautiful butterfly to represent
the change that I am going through.

I felt good afterwards, but I think I was in a deeper state the first time around. I’m not sure why that is, but
nonetheless, I have the tape that was recorded during the session, along with the tape from the first session, and he
suggested that I listen to them frequently, and I think I will do just that.

I’m very interested to see if the pain has increased but I haven’t pulled yet so I’m not sure. Hopefully I’ll be able
to make it for longer, this time. *crosses fingers*

I kinda gave up on the diet tracking.. I eat somewhat healthily most of the time, so I really don’t think that I
have excess sugar, caffeine, MSG, etc, to blame for increased pulling.

Welp, guess that’s it for now- wish me luck! Adios!

Tags: hypnosis, alternative healing, no harm, diet, hypnotherapy, ttm, trichotillomania, trich //