Entries Tagged as 'peer pressure'

update

well, it’s been a month now since I started cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).I am sad to say that I don’t see much of a difference yet.  My awareness has been increased a bit, but it has gotten no easier to stop the behavior, despite coming up with a list of incompatible behaviors (putting a hat or gloves on, clasping hands, moving around, etc) … the urge is just too strong for any of that to work.

so, I am taking the plunge and trying medication to go along with the CBT, which is the most successful way of going about this…….I am not sure which medication will be tried first, but I am sure there will be a period of unpleasant trial and error, and I’m sure I’m not going to like the side effects of whatever SSRI I am taking… but… at this point, I am willing to sacrifice other things (like my sexual functionality, which is what the Cymbalta / Duloxetine messed with when I tried it, and the main reason I stopped taking it) to try and conquer this…  if there’s any time to really try medication again, it’s right now.. I seem to have no other choice.  It’s becoming incredibly difficult and frustrating to hide my scalp, which is at least 50% bare, especially from my significant other.  It actually distresses me quite a lot when he wants to spend the night with me now, because it’s extremely uncomfortable to sleep with clip-on extensions (they pull at the hair I do have, making my scalp very sore in the morning)  aside from the fact that the hair is all gross and poor quality now because of sleeping on it so often.  I like seeing him but I find myself wishing he didn’t call me so much, just because of the hair thing…  *sigh* I should be happy to spend time with him =(

I had a massive session just now while writing a final paper for school.  It was just awful… I couldn’t stop.  I even pulled my pubic hair (after I tried putting on a hat, the trich monster just moved along somewhere else) for over 20 minutes which is something I haven’t done in a REALLY long time.  :(

I did dye my roots last night in hopes I won’t get stuck in the mirror pulling all my numerous amounts of grays anymore….

I really hope I can get better.  :(

I will update as things progress..

Tags: school stress, pulling at night, pulling at desk, follicle biting, peer pressure, embarrassment, mgh trich clinic boston, pubic area, significant other, anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, treatmeant, restlessness, white hair, trich, ttm, medication, stress, cymbalta, hair extensions, trichotillomania, bald spots, crown, pulling from scalp, pulling, depression, duloxetine by Isis
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sigh

well, the eyebrows had STARTED to grow back…. they were about halfway there…  but I just pulled them while laying here in bed, restless.  I guess bed is the worst place for me…. always has been, really.  That’s where the whole behaviour even began, all those years ago…..
have only pulled a few strands from the crown, but my hair isn’t very long yet.   since the rest of the bald patches are still catching up on the top, I will be keeping it short until those fill in.  Almost time to buzz it again soon.  I do that about every 2 weeks or less.  What a pain.   It has to be done though…. it looks pretty bad if I don’t.

my female co workers were bothering me about it again.  one of them in particular keeps telling me I should grow my hair, I’d look so good with long hair, blah blah.  I really want to tell her to shut the fuck up already.  It really bothers me and I’ve already dismissed her several times now.   This time she brought it up in front of another of the girls I work with and that made it even fuckin worse.  I wish people would just leave me alone.   Why is my fuckin hair so important to them?

Tags: peer pressure, restlessness, pulling eyebrows, relapse, eyebrows by Isis
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