Sanitywarp.org:: Diary of a Trichster

wow, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve updated.  I guess I’ve been so busy with school and other stuff that it hasn’t been on my mind too much.   Although I’ve tried a few new things since the last time I wrote (started seeing the homeopath about 6 weeks ago, got ridiculously expensive fusion hair extensions from one of the supposedly best salons from around here, they ended up being AWFUL!!),  I am still largely in the same place as before.  I’ve got 3 huge bald patches in the usual places… crown and either side, near temples.I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety, so I’m not surprised I’m not doing too well at the moment.  I’m also depressed because of the hair stuff and some other things in general.  Thanks to my acrylic nails though, I still have my brows and lashes, at least.  I am currently on the waitlist for the MGH Trich clinic, and it could be several months before I get in there.  I hope it’s sooner.  :/   I will go into more detail about some of the stuff I’ve tried, next time  I write, which will hopefully not be too much longer from now.   But I thought I’d put a brief entry in here for the time being.   so.. until then..

Tags: pulling at desk, sore, pulling in bed, white hair, pulling in class, pulling in morning, mgh trich clinic, pulling at night, school stress, pulling at mirror, self esteem, crown, trichotillomania, hair extensions, ttm, trich, depression, pulling from scalp, trichster, bald spots, alternative healing, stress by Isis
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well, I made it to 5 days PF…

just now though, I pulled 2 while looking in the mirror, but it’s cuz they were white and highly visible… so I am kinda only half-counting those…

but then that made me pull once more… and there were 4 in that pull  =[          a couple of follicles.  my scalp is like.. itching or something now, and my hand keeps going back up, the urge is fuckin.. overwhelmingly strong.   gah!!  I hope writing this will help me stop.  I’m going to bed soon as well.  hopefully I’m tired enough to just pass right out (I think so)  and not be up pulling for 2 more hours ors omething…

edit/addition…:

still have my eyebrows though…..   I am so thankful for those, with every day that passes…..   I never have to worry about them getting wiped off my face due to rain, or taking a shower, or smudging with my hand, or being with my partner… ever again, I think!   omg!

Tags: cosmetic, pulling at mirror, 5th day pull free, white hair, relapse, trichotillomania, pulling from scalp, eyebrows by Isis
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well it’s been 2 days since my last entry.  Things are going ok.  Not completely pull-free… but no more than like 30 I’d say since I last wrote, which isn’t too bad.  I really have to stop looking in the mirror so long before bed.  The white hairs I’ve accumulated (largely from pulling in the same places for sooo long…) are really bothersome and just BEG to be yanked out.  I’m going to have to dye my hair I think to keep that from being an annoyance, cuz there really are quite a few patches of them now.

well, that’s about it for now.

Tags: pulling at mirror, white hair by Isis
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