more on welbutrin…
My ears have been ringing off and on since Thursday. They seem to be much more sensitive now. Another reported side effect…. weird..
My ears have been ringing off and on since Thursday. They seem to be much more sensitive now. Another reported side effect…. weird..
it feels at the moment almost like I’m even more anxious than before. Small things are setting me off and making my heart pound. Getting irritated this morning over something was suddenly feeling very extreme.
something frightening happened on my way to work in the afternoon. A friend was driving me, and we were in a rush since I was on the late side. He was going maybe 40 miles an hour? The road is sort of a freeway - but there was a light, turning yellow ahead of us. I felt like we were SPEEDING towards this light that was going to be red by the time we went through it. I thought, “we’re never going to make it!!” and suddenly the stress and anxiety of this felt SO horrible and uncomfortable that I felt this weird, strong jolt/shudder through my entire body and I felt my hands clamp down the arms of the seat as if I were going to fly out of it. It was *almost* similar to the feeling one gets on a roller coaster the minute it starts to drop down. It was NOT cool at all. VERY unpleasant… and scared the living shit out of me. I felt for a moment like I’d die!
Can’t imagine that was very good for my mind.. or body.. =/
Then I remembered that I’ve gotten these jolts before.. .and I think it was during another time I was on an SSRI, although I’m not 100% sure on that. But it was always when in a car and stressed out. (I have fairly moderate anxiety when driving or being a passenger in the city, due to a number of accidents I’ve been in)
I hope this isn’t gonna continue =/ I know it’s still very early and the first couple of weeks are unpleasant. I really hope the good will eventually outweigh the bad.
after speaking with my therapist and voicing my hope that perhaps combining medication with the therapy would have better results, we have decided to start by trying the SSRI medication, Zoloft. I had wanted to start with Anafril, however since I take some mild stimulants for my ADHD symptoms and I am in school for awhile, the latter was chosen as apparently clomipramine/Anafril has a bit of a stimulant as well and they wouldn’t be great to mix.I am started on 60mg (Doc says that for diseases such as OCD and Trich, rather than say, depression, which these are also commonly prescribed for, a much higher dose is needed for it to have any effect…), I am only to take 30mg for the first week… which I started today. Next week it will be bumped up to the full dose. From there, it will be several weeks before it begins to work. I am sure I will notice a decrease in libido, which is the main reason I stopped Celexa a few years ago, but that is not as important to me as it was then. What is important to me now is getting a grip on this horrible monster. I broke down in front of the bathroom mirror last night and cried when I noticed the new, large bare patch that was creeping right up the crown and close to my forehead, in plain view. It’s spread and spread since starting with the sides, to the top, and now to the front. It’s a creeping disease… and it seems like nothing will stop it.but I made a pact with myself and knew that it could still be beatable. even after so many long years of having this (3/4’s of my whole life even), I can still overcome it if I try really hard, and with the help that I’m getting now. maybe even one day I can go off of the medication, although I am prepared to accept now that I may need to take it for several years until I’m at that point.I just want to stop hiding, I want to be proud of my hair again. and I want my boyfriend to see me the way I deserve to be seen, with a long head of beautiful hair, instead of a mangled mess that is clearly the sign of a disease. …I want the confidence to know that there is nothing I need to hide anymore, nothing to be embarrassed over ….. nothing that would scream, “this girl has a problem” if anyone were to accidently see …so… here’s to day 1… of what I hope will be a transformation… and if it’s not… then I will have to move along the list of medications, until I find the one that’s right. but I am hoping high for Zoloft.