Sanitywarp.org:: Diary of a Trichster

The streak is over.  Actually, it ended the day after I made my last post, sadly enough.   A combination of things … environment, bored/restlessness … and I succumbed.  There have been a few bad days since then.  Usually triggered by stress or in one case, anger.  I’m getting the extensions put back in later this week sometime.  I was so happy about the thickness of my hair, but I’ve already made a few thin spots on the sides again…. c’est la vie.  At least I made it about two weeks this time.  That’s an improvement over the last time, which was about a week pull-free … several months back… the key seems to be to abstain as long as possible… once you’re back into it… you’re back into it and it’s really hard to stop.  So… hopefully… better luck next time around…  now, if I can just get it stabilized again before too much time passes…

Tags: bald spots, relapse, anxiety, pulling from scalp, trichotillomania, trich, ttm, stress by Isis
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I am pleased to say that I’ve been doing better lately.   I’ve been keeping my goals in mind and trying to keep picturing myself with a long, full head of hair.  I’ve also been bookmarking photos of models and performers with astoundingly cool hair and looking at them from time to time for inspiration.   I have my extensions in part to thank for my recent success, but they’re on their way out pretty soon (it’s been about 2 months now)  and I’m a little nervous about taking them out in a few days.   I don’t think I’m ready to try leaving them out for a long time, so I’m going to give myself around a week and see how I do.  My therapist and I came up with a good list of strategies for the upcoming week, including, staying busy, spending time out and with friends, not going to bed until I’m extremely tired, checking in with myself every hour… etc.    I hope it goes alright!

Tags: treatmeant, trichotillomania, trich by Isis
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yesterday’s meeting went well.  I’ve been doing a little better resisting the urges to pull my hair lately.   We came up with a good rewards/goal system yesterday.  For every block of time during the day that I don’t pull (4 hour blocks), I get 1 point.   When I have 50 points, I will treat myself to a massage at the end of the week.   Realistically, I can’t afford to do it more than twice a month, so thats why the points number is high.  So far it’s been helping to keep me motivated.  I also put a big note to myself on my bathroom wall next to my mirror, “FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!”  and that’s been helping to keep me reminded.  My roommate has no idea it’s about my trichotillomania, so it’s great.that’s the report for now.  Wish me luck!

Tags: mgh trich clinic boston, cognitive behavioral therapy, tips, self esteem, trichotillomania, trichster, trich by Isis
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some ups and downs… (there was a whole 8 days of pull free for awhile where I thought I’d started to make some real progress…)  but things are still very much the same.  the CBT seemed like it had started to work, but then I got off track after some stressful events in my life… and then I had to change doctors   I am now seeing Hannah Reese at MGH.   It won’t be for all that long - she’s taking a leave in November… I was hoping I’d be able to use that as a goal to be feeling good by… but who knows really.    It’s still as bad as ever… :[

Tags: cognitive behavioral therapy, mgh trich clinic boston, trichotillomania, trich by Isis
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sad to say that nothing’s changed, although I have to admit I haven’t been trying very hard. I’ve been away traveling and dealing with grief and stress… haven’t seen my Dr in awhile.  the Naltrexone doesn’t seem to really be doing much on its own. <p>

I now have a bunch of very large spots all over my head, (the follicle obsession has been VERY strong recently… spend a lot of time thinking/obsessing over it even when I’m not doing it) and for the first time I pulled a lot from the very front, the fine wispy stuff around my forehead, so I’ve got these like 3-inch around circles coming in on both sides of my forehead… VERY hard to hide, I’ve been having to basically wear a headband any time I go out.  getting to feel pretty awkward around my partner.  I’m worried about how long it’s going to take those spots to fill in because the fine hair always takes a lot longer.  *sigh*  =/

Tags: trauma caused by pulling, follicle obsession, follicle biting, naltrexone, follicles, bald spots, trich, ttm, trichotillomania, stress by Isis
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