going downhill…
This post was taken from a previous journal, before I decided to make this journal solely dedicated to TTM:
The extensions I got in May (2 months ago) are on their last legs unfortunately.. I’ve been frantically trying to preserve what’s left for just a couple more weeks while I try desperately to find someone that can do new ones for me… for uhh, less than fuckin $500, which is what the Hair Police want. =( fuckin sucks.. a lot. I was really excited to maybe get them done by those guys since I’ve heard good things about them, have seen their work, and have seen them mentioned on other trich pages before. But that is a fuckton of money…and they don’t even have wool type material (which was surprising in itself), on top of that, they want me to pay that much for a couple hours worth of work?? (When I went to Rae at Hair Alchemy, she did it in 2 hours and I had twice as much hair then) so…. I only have about 30% of my hair left at all, which obviously would mean a lot less material than they’d normally use…. and that’s not going to affect the cost apparently? umm… no.. can’t go that route then, just cuz they’ve done a lot of business for themselves I really can’t justify $500 for such a little amount of hair. =( I’m really hoping my only other option isn’t to have to get back on a plane and go back to Chicago, (her studio is Hair Alchemy and she did an amazing job, I would def recommend her to anyone in the Chicago area!) cuz that will end up being almost just as expensive… but I may have to =( humph. Oh well… Chris wants to visit Chicago sometime.. he’d go with me at least…
The hair situation has been really bad lately, I think I’ve gotten worse at controlling myself. I think I may start up a trich diary on a new site, just to talk about my struggle with TTM. I wonder if I should move it to blogger or something… someplace where it might actually turn up in a search engine someday if some other poor trich sufferer is looking for something… I think I might be brave enough to post pictures too…eventually. sigh… yeah, every time one of the extensions falls out, it opens up a new patch of hair that I get rid of with like, an intense ferocity. I’m pretty sure that if I don’t get some more extensions fairly soon, I’m going to end up pulling out ALL of it, even the stuff I usually never touch at all, which I’ve been doing. =( so much of my hair is white now because of this. I’m probably getting close to the point of doing permanent damage now… I mean shit, it’s been 8 fucking years man. 8 years… that’s almost 10… almost a whole decade. The dulexotine I’ve been taking has seemed to improved my OCD symptoms a bit, which I am grateful for… but it’s done nothing for the trich yet, unfortunately. I pulled so much out just last night and my head is so fucking sore. I suppose I *should* take pictures of it now while it looks so awful.. I used to look at trich pictures and think, well… “at least I don’t have it THAT bad”… seeing people 70-80% bald from it… well, now I do have it that bad and I have for a little while now. I really do think I’ll end up pulling all of it out soon if I don’t get a fuckin grip on myself.