Sanitywarp.org:: Diary of a Trichster

The streak is over.  Actually, it ended the day after I made my last post, sadly enough.   A combination of things … environment, bored/restlessness … and I succumbed.  There have been a few bad days since then.  Usually triggered by stress or in one case, anger.  I’m getting the extensions put back in later this week sometime.  I was so happy about the thickness of my hair, but I’ve already made a few thin spots on the sides again…. c’est la vie.  At least I made it about two weeks this time.  That’s an improvement over the last time, which was about a week pull-free … several months back… the key seems to be to abstain as long as possible… once you’re back into it… you’re back into it and it’s really hard to stop.  So… hopefully… better luck next time around…  now, if I can just get it stabilized again before too much time passes…

Tags: bald spots, relapse, anxiety, pulling from scalp, trichotillomania, trich, ttm, stress by Isis
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I am pleased to report that somehow, I am still pull-free!  This has certainly been the longest period of time where I’ve gone without pulling  (without the aid of something, like shaving my hair off as I have done in the past)  since I started!!   I am so proud of myself.  After the hair extensions came out, there was about 90% regrowth on my crown!  What an amazing surprise.  It looks so full now that it was very inspirational to keep up the hard work of resisting all of the urges, which are still as strong as ever.   I think now that my cognitive behavior therapy has begun to work.  I have tools now and competitive behaviors for pulling… plans of action now, instead of just trying with sheer will power.   It has been over a year now since I began… and, despite having to change therapists because of the first one relocating… I think I’ve really started to change the way I think and feel about the behavior and rituals associated with trich.  I am so thankful that I’ve been able to go to the MGH clinic in Boston.   Yesterday, I even booked myself a massage as a reward for being pull-free for so long (setting up a rewards system is part of the CBT method).   I will check in again soon!  I hope this continues.

Tags: pull free, cognitive behavioral therapy, mgh trich clinic boston, mgh trich clinic by Isis
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I am pleased to say that I’ve been doing better lately.   I’ve been keeping my goals in mind and trying to keep picturing myself with a long, full head of hair.  I’ve also been bookmarking photos of models and performers with astoundingly cool hair and looking at them from time to time for inspiration.   I have my extensions in part to thank for my recent success, but they’re on their way out pretty soon (it’s been about 2 months now)  and I’m a little nervous about taking them out in a few days.   I don’t think I’m ready to try leaving them out for a long time, so I’m going to give myself around a week and see how I do.  My therapist and I came up with a good list of strategies for the upcoming week, including, staying busy, spending time out and with friends, not going to bed until I’m extremely tired, checking in with myself every hour… etc.    I hope it goes alright!

Tags: treatmeant, trichotillomania, trich by Isis
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