more on welbutrin…
My ears have been ringing off and on since Thursday. They seem to be much more sensitive now. Another reported side effect…. weird..
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more updates on the welbutrin journey
it feels at the moment almost like I’m even more anxious than before. Small things are setting me off and making my heart pound. Getting irritated this morning over something was suddenly feeling very extreme.
something frightening happened on my way to work in the afternoon. A friend was driving me, and we were in a rush since I was on the late side. He was going maybe 40 miles an hour? The road is sort of a freeway - but there was a light, turning yellow ahead of us. I felt like we were SPEEDING towards this light that was going to be red by the time we went through it. I thought, “we’re never going to make it!!” and suddenly the stress and anxiety of this felt SO horrible and uncomfortable that I felt this weird, strong jolt/shudder through my entire body and I felt my hands clamp down the arms of the seat as if I were going to fly out of it. It was *almost* similar to the feeling one gets on a roller coaster the minute it starts to drop down. It was NOT cool at all. VERY unpleasant… and scared the living shit out of me. I felt for a moment like I’d die!
Can’t imagine that was very good for my mind.. or body.. =/
Then I remembered that I’ve gotten these jolts before.. .and I think it was during another time I was on an SSRI, although I’m not 100% sure on that. But it was always when in a car and stressed out. (I have fairly moderate anxiety when driving or being a passenger in the city, due to a number of accidents I’ve been in)
I hope this isn’t gonna continue =/ I know it’s still very early and the first couple of weeks are unpleasant. I really hope the good will eventually outweigh the bad.
Weird feelings…
Yesterday, while I was at work, for a couple of hours I started feeling VERY strange. Disoriented… and weird. I guess other people could notice too, because my co-workers kept commenting on how I wasn’t smiling, looked tired, one jokingly said I was walking around like a zombie. I just wasn’t feeling well. Several people commented that I looked tired or asked me if I was ok when I was sitting down waiting for my ride at the end of my shift. I did feel rather tired/lethargic.
One positive thing I noticed though, was that I was able to keep my cool during an EXTREMELY hectic day, which normally would have stressed me the hell out. But I took it very well, and easily. Somehow I managed to stay totally calm amongst the pandemonium. So.. I guess that was good.
Later I realized that I’d forgotten to take 2 Welbutrins in the morning - I only took one. So I wondered if that was the reason I felt so weird… while my body is adjusting it probably wasn’t happy getting the 200mg it got the day before. ? I dunno. I just really hope the side effects don’t make me feel too awful.. but they are supposed to subside after a couple of weeks I guess… and then the positive effects are supposed to begin..
I’ll be reading more about it.. I know what to expect from previous reading, but now that it’s actually happening I feel like I need to read more.
a weaker day today.
Don’t know why, but today was a weaker day with the bad habits. I’ve been doing well up until today. But today, while bored, I chewed several of my nails (on my right hand) down so far that they hurt. And just now while laying here with my laptop, doing some work on the computer, I started pulling my right eyebrow significantly.
Tomorrow… my welbutrin dose doubles to 200mg per day…
Medication Options for Trichotillomania ..
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been talking with my doctor about trying medication (again) for my severe trichotillomania, which has been persisting since age 14. (I am now about to turn 30, so this has been going on over half my life.) In the past I tried Cymbalta, and Zoloft, and Naltrexone. After 4 months on Cymbalta, I didn’t notice much of a reduction in my pulling urges, or in my OCD symptoms, either. So I discontinued that. Discouraged, I didn’t try another medication until last year, when I tried Zoloft. After a few months of this, I didn’t like the sexual dysfunction side effects and discontinued that medication as well - I was not seeing any benefit from this medication either. I gave Naltrexone a shot for 3 months and didn’t notice any improvement with that either.
I have been doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy for 1.5 years now - it shouldn’t have been for this long, but I had several interruptions in the treatment (changing of doctors due to them leaving, going on pregnancy leave, etc)
At this point in time I feel that I’ve somewhat exhausted some of the CBT methods to the point where they aren’t as meaningful, so I am going to try the combination of CBT and medicine now.
After reviewing more choices, my choice now seems to lie between Clomipramine (which seems to have show the highest success rate for Trich) and Welbutrin, which has also been shown to be effective for some. I’ve been going back and forth between these 2 for some time. It’s hard to decide … I’d like to go for the Clomipramine because of it’s documented success rate - however, I have other additional problems as well, including anxiety, attention deficit disorder and depression - all of which Welbutrin can impact positively. The clomipramine focuses solely on the OCD-like symptoms… less on the depression and concentration issues.
Then again, do I really want to be on one of these long-term? I feel as if I don’t, but the attention issues are certainly a problem that will persist for some time. If the Welbutrin does help with that, then perhaps I would want to continue taking it for at least a few years. The clomipramine I’d be more likely to want to discontinue sooner, probably. My OCD symptoms alone aren’t bothersome enough to really interfere in my life, but I am skeptical that a year on medication and some CBT will cure a life-long problem. So then.. perhaps it WOULD be better to stay on a medication long-term (a few years)… and if so, it might as well be one that’s beneficial in other ways… like the Welbutrin.
The sexual side effects, well… I’ve decided that this time.. that’s not worth it. A few years ago I was younger and that sort of thing seemed more important … orgasms were something I refused to give up then. This happens to be a good time to try again though, because I am not in a relationship, for the first time in awhile… so I feel that any sexual dysfunction now wouldn’t be as much of an issue.
So then.. I guess the decision has been made… I hope it is a good one. I will begin on Welbutrin (Bupropion) .. 100mg… today. At the moment I am still with a shaved head to avoid all temptation of pulling. In a few months, the bald spots currently present, should be filling in… and by then, hopefully the medication and the CBT will be working well.
I hope this will help me… here goes.